Emmett's List of Luxury
by Ilovemywolf
Summary: Emmett is a mans-man, loves his family and everything to do with life... But, he has a problem... And it will take all of his families love to keep him with them... Will make you laugh
1. Running the Bath!

Emmett's Story  
chapter 1-

There I stood, naked. I was looking into the full sized mirror I had stolen from Japers room I couldn't help but like what I saw... Free, no one watching. Maybe Edward was... _but still._ Naked. And about to have the most l_uxurious_ bath in the history of baths...EVER!

Alice had been out this morning to buy Bella -still human, cause Eddie kins wont change her, I swear I'm going to bite her if he doesn't!- some lotions and potions. I tiptoed over to the _grandé ensuit_; everybody having super human hearing was kinda annoying, especially when they were just down the road playing baseball... I'm tired of playin' sports! Baseball, baseball, baseball, WRESTLE, baseball, baseball... I want to dance! Jazz is my favourite dance, _oh_ and ballet. I normally hid my feelings in front of the others, jasper can _feel it_, Edward can _hear it_, and Alice can _see_ me doing it...

I slipped on my fluffy white dressing gown, soo warm and snug! Then glided over to the cabinets, where Alice had placed all the lotions. I dragged out a bottle of bath oil named '_baby petal pink'_, but trust me, this was not a baby pink! Then I got some raspberry fizzy-bombs out- Id made up a few baths for Rosalie before, I knew how they worked. Next on my list of luxury: candles and rose petals... where'd Alice put them!... I searched around the room, throwing around the golden towels and Edwards golden toothbrush... Where the hell are they!?...oh... found them, they were next to the fizzy bombs. Ha-ha...

''And now, for the main event-vent-entt... THE RUNNING OF THE BATH!'' I stage whispered into Jaspers hair comb. I looked in the mirror next to the bath and smiled, _this is my time to shine,_ I thought. I turned the 'hot' golden knob, and watched as a waterfall cascaded from the tap. So pretty I thought to myself, and smiled. I took off my dressing gown and hung it on the back of the door, then went to inspect the room for other beatifying products.

I walked past Eddiekins stereo, _what is this doing in here? _Then I remember Bella had stayed over the other day... they must have... hmmm, NAUGHTY EDDIEKINS! Oh, scandalous. I smiled a huge cheesy grin and pulled out some CD's they were listening to...Clair du Lune...Too sexy for my shirt...Love man... OOOOH! MY FAVE!! Dont'cha, By the Pussycat dolls!! I ripped the CD out from the case and shoved it in the stereo, and pressed play.

''DONT'CHA WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME!?

DONT'CHA WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS A FREAK LIKE ME?!

DONT'CHAAAAA''

I sang at full volume, oh my gawd I love these girls!!

Then I heard the foot steps...

* * *

Finished! - Okay, I know, I know, I have some explaining to do... tee hee! So, I love Emmett, I wish he was my big brother, so I didn't mean anything... by the way he was written :) I think he's just such a great character to play around with (HAHAHAHA, we all wish, eh girls?) so SORRY to any Team Emmett fans :) Thanks Twi-nerds ;) xx


	2. PAZAZZ!

Emmett's Story  
chapter 2-

Then I foot steps...

OH SHOOOOOOOOT! I quickly ran over to the stereo and shut it down- and by shut it down I mean threw it out of the window- CRAP now Bella and Eddie are gunna be mad!

But I had bigger problem, which was coming up the stairs right this second! I grabbed my fluffy white dressing gown, put it on and slowly slid my head out of the door, to try and see who it was. I strained my ears... it wasn't a dancey-like walk, so it wasn't Alice- PHEW, that was I wont have to explain the missing bubble baths. They didn't have high heals on, so it couldn't my Rose or Esmee. It was a man then. So Edward was counted out. Not Alice, Rose, Esmee or Edward...

I peeped out of the door... very slowly... who ever it was, was whistling...

''Emm?'' The sweet voice called... I frowned. It wasn't Jasper- luckily.

Carlisle.

''Um, in here. The bathroom'' I said quietly. He would hear.

''Jasper needs a partner for kung-fu'' Carlisle smiled. He didn't like violence but he loved seeing his boys having fun... Too bad my idea of fun would be frowned apon. And if Edward and Jasper found out what my fun was all about...then I would become a laughing stock! And what about my Rose, what would she say!? I love my family, but what I want, what I NEED, need with a lonesome passion would cause me to be laughed at...An outsider in my own family...

''I don't know, I'm not feeling all too good...'' WHAT THE HECK!? OF ALL THE THINGS TO SAY, I SAID THAT!

''Your a vampire... you don't get sick'' Carlisle stated. Crap.

''I... need my mans time...'' I lifted my eyebrows and shrugged. He would know what I was on about...

''Oh err, okay. Ill...Leave you to it then'' Carlisle said uncomfortably. I smiled on the inside, _Phew close call!_ I thought gladly.

Carlisle walked out to the door, turned around, winked and left the room. I held my breath until I heard him run past the fir trees at the end of the river, then let it out in a gust of wind. ''Ohmigosh, close one!'' I said looking into a mirror. I smiled again, happy that I could be alone for a while longer; Carlisle would cover for me...

Wouldn't he...?  
_Yes he wo_uld_! Haha_... But my reflection showed an ounce of doubt. _Nahh, he would _I thought.

The golden bath was almost full by now, bubbles leaked over the sides with a frothy layer. The smell of beautiful petals... orchids and roses wafted through the luxury bathroom. _Mmmm, wonderful_ I thought sniffing and smiling a full blinding grin.

I ran to my room and grabbed my iPod – my pretty pink one! I used the excuse that they had run out of EVERY colour in the shop, so I had to get the pink one, and because I'm bigger than everyone else, they didn't dare to take the mick – and plugged in my headphones and put it on shuffle. I had a good selection on music on my iPod, from Katy Perry to Kings of Leon...even a little bit of Liza Minnelli! As the music blasted in my ears I walked back to the bathroom, where the water was starting to spill out from the tub! Wooopsi! I ran over to the tub and turned off the knobs, then pulled out the plug, to let some of the water out...

_Here we go_, I thought, _what I've been waiting for, all flipping day! NOW, it's my time! _'MY TIME!' I whispered to the mirror.

I slowly pulled my dressing gown off, letting it drop on the floor around my feet, then walked forward and lit a couple of candles, threw on some petals and climbed into the bath... as the sound of 'bad things' by Jace Everett boomed into my ears, I smelled the petals and smiled. 100% content. I cleared my mind of all thoughts, erased all my worries and problems and thought about unicorns and ponies and rainbows!! I smiled, once again, at ease. Then something bumped my bottom...? I reached around behind my hip and thighs... searching... then my hand came across something hard and... Metal...? But it wasn't my winky... I pulled it to the surface. A little silver canister, with a delicate flower carved on the outside. I poped it open – for it has a beautiful little catch on one side – and pulled out a piece of paper...

I know you're Secrete... 

* * *

Finished! :) Oooh WHO COULD HAVE WRITTEN IT!?! Keep reading to find out – once I have written it! Haha. I hope you liked this chapter, it was... tiring to write, haha, I was up late most nights trying to get it just right. Hope it payed off! :) Please review so far, tell me who you think wrote the note, and what you think Emmett's secrete is ;) Shannon xx


	3. We are Family!

Emmett's Story  
chapter 3-

I know you're Secrete...

I stared at the tiny piece of paper for what seemed like a very long time. Trying not to think...

The little clock on my iPod flashed, tellin' me it was 11:00 am, the others would be back in half an hour or so. I sucked in a breath, holding it, after a minuet I released it in a gush of wind, and then climbed out of the golden tub. I grabbed a soft white towel, wiped my legs and arms then wrapped it round my waist and slid on my white dressing gown.

I walked, without a purpose, to mine a Rose's room. I went to the white luxurious cabinets, decorated with delicate silver vines and orchids in the corners, and pulled out a pair of black jeans, pants, and a white t-shirt with 'born to be wild' printed in big black lettering on the back.

After I finished dressing I ran Jaspers comb through my curly black hair and applied my moisturiser. _Mmmm, lemon scented_. I put every thing back were it belonged then pulled the plug on the bath and sprayed Edwards deodorants all over the room, covering up all traces of the rose and orchid smells. Once satisfied, I walked out of the glorious bathroom, n' down to the living room.

The others were coming; they were about a mile out, but coming in fast. I quickly flipped on the TV and stuck on Mtv. Some award show was on, a scruffy-British guy and an _absolutely stunning_ girl had just won best actor and actress.

Here they come; I plastered on a fake cheesy grin- I was looking for anything suspicious about them...

The first I saw was Alice and Jasper, Alice perched on Jazz's back, smiling like a love-struck teenager. _Aww'r! '' _Hey Emm'' Alice said smiling- she wouldn't have know what I was up to, she'd be too busy cheating on whatever game they were all playing.

''Hi pixy'' I said smiling a genuine smile. I loved Alice, such a cute n' sweet kinda' girl. ''Have fun?'' Like I needed an answer, she was still on Jaspers back with huge golden eyes. She winked at me and hopped off Jaspers back, then turned around to kiss his neck.

Carlisle and Esmee trotted through the door holding hands, their hair was all blown backwards from running. They smiled over at me sitting on the couch; Esmee said ''nice morning, isn't it?'' I glanced out of the window, a thunder storm was brewing over the tree-tops and it was just starting to rain. I smiled ''Very nice.'' Carlisle gave a significant wink over to me and went up to his study- probably to get changed for work.

And last through the door was my everything. There weren't words good to describe her. She smiled over at me and came over to where I was smiling like an idiot. ''Hello darling,'' her tinkering voice echoed through my ears. ''Rose'' I said standing up and kissing her full lips, wrapping my hands around her curvy waist...

Nobody in my family could have written the note... Who could it have been? ...

* * *

Chapter Three DONE (like my Gordon Ramsay impression, Lol!)

So In this chapter I know not alot happens, but it shows you how much Emmett loves his family and how he looses alot of his PA-ZAZ at the beginning, knowing that someone knows his secret ;) Hope you guys like this chapter :) Review and Tell me who you think might have written the note! Thanks guys, Shannon xoxox


	4. Damn, I look so sexy

Emmett's Story

Chapter 4-

I sneakily stealthed around the corner...my back brushed the wooden panels causing a silent sound to ring in my ears. _Crap_. I froze in the middle of the corridor, straining my ears to hear any movement, or talk from the kitchen... Nothing. I layed flat on the ground then shuffled along the floor using my elbows, _damn I bet I look good doing this... _I though to myself, slowly licking my lips, _Ahh, focus already!! _I shunned myself. I peered around the kitchen counter; Esme and Alice were sitting at the table, discussing Paris Fashion Week! Oh my god!! I really wanted to go to it! Maybe I could talk them into letting me go with them! Yeah, I'ma do tha- WAIT, no, stealth mode, be prepared for anything and everything!

Then suddenly, the though occurred to me, _what the hell am I doing? Get up you fool! _I instructed myself. As soon as I was up Alice shouted to me, ''Emmett, I saw what you were doing, please get up and just come in here!'' I laughed... at my own stupidity. I walked into the kitching to smiley faces, Esme was busy reading VOGE and Alice was studying the models-commenting now and then on each girls imperfections.  
''Wass'up!'' I said in a gruff voice, smiling slightly.  
''Hello Emmett darling. Are you okay?'' Esme said in a sweet voice. I loved Esme, she was a beautiful soul and she brings tears to my eyes –figure of speech- every time she speaks. THE BEST MOM EVER!!  
''S'all good. What'cha doing?'' I said, trying to lack interest...  
''Just looking at _Paris fashion week!''-_She pronounced it with pure love_-'' _Oh, but I wont bore you this the details!''- _OH, IF YOU PLEASE WOULD!! _I though sadly. - ''What about you? Got any homework that needs doing?''  
Alice chimed in, ''Oh god no! Done it all during the lesson! Its all too easy now 'a days.'' She was right, it is very easy. Esme smiled, and then went back to her reading.

''Eddie-kins home yet?'' I said, trying to be casual. I don't know why, but I had this feeling, in the pit of my stomach, that it was Edward who wrote the note... Don't ask me how I know, I just do...  
Alice gave me a very blunt look. As if it was obvious. ''Ohhh, okay moody! He's not home, I get it!'' I said, raising my hands in surrender. Esme laughed. _Hmmm, what am I gunna do now...?_ I thought quietly to myself.  
Suddenly, I had an idea... Then quickly tried not to think about it, Alice was too close. I opened my mouth to speak, ''I'm gunna go out for a bit, shopping... I'm... Umm... Running out of socks.'' _I'd never been a good liar. _I cracked a smile, hoping they wouldn't be suspicious...  
''Jasper has some you can borrow!'' Alice said to me. Grr.  
''Oh, there not the right ones... And, besides! I want to be grown up, and not have my sister, or my girl pick out my socks! I. Am. A. Grown. Man. Damn'it. Let me choose my OWN socks with NO questions asked!!'' I snapped back, rushing to get the words out. _Nice Emmett, reeeeal nice, _I complained to myself. Alice and Esme just stared at me.  
''Umm, okay then. Bye,'' Alice said quite annoyed. Esme looked between us, and then gave up trying to figure it out what it was, going back to reading the magazine.  
''Okay then.'' I said, quickly rushing to get out of the door. I grabbed Rosalie's keys, running to get in the darn car and out of here...

Once I was in the car, I blew out a sigh._ ''You need to freaking relax Emmett!!'' _I shout-whispered into the rear-view mirror. Then I saw my reflection...looking at myself in the mirror, I fixed my hair, tweaking it here and here... ''Mmmm, damn! I look so sexy...'' I smiled, raising one eyebrow. _No, focus! What to do now..._ I though to myself, then went on thinking... My master plan began forming in my head... I rubbed my hands together, and started to do an evil-genius laugh!!

Then there was a sharp tap on the car window. 

* * *

Hey! Sorry this took so long! I was gonna post it ALL when it was complete, but I just decided to post little by little :) Hope you enjoy, PLEASEE review!! Thanks, love Shannon xxx


	5. UPDATE! Why I havent finished

Hello there! Let me be the first one to tell you, I'm not dead. ;)

Hahaha- but seriously, it has been around 19 months since I last updated, published or even came on FanFiction. And holy shiz, things have changed!

Here's a few excuses as to why I haven't updated a story in a while…

1. I was fourteen when I first started writing stories on here. Fourteen. I am now 16 (it freaks me out every time I have to write that haha). I was immature, narrow minded and inexperienced when it came to writing. I had no idea what the hell I was doing, but what I was doing seemed to get good reviews and so I continued- completely unaware just how crappy my ramblings' were. Every time I read one of my stories back I cringe, embarrassed by my poor grammar, spelling mistakes and just general rubbishness of the story lines. (I'm English, its okay, I can make up words like ''rubbishness'' ;)) Sooo… I've been tempted a couple of times to delete all traces of my work from the internet, but every single time I end up reading the reviews, almost all incredibly sweet and encouraging for me to continue on with the series. Not to sound corny, but really, the guys and gals who reviewed are the reason my work is still on here. So thanky youuu ;)  
That's the first reason for my lack of existence, immaturity.

2. School. I was in year 9 and starting my GCSE's. Scary shiz for anyone; let-alone me. A girl who wrote stories on the internet about werewolves, vampires and hot steamy lovin'. Well, kind of. Haha. So school really got in the way when it came to writing chapters. I remember times during the week where I would be up at midnight, rushing to get chapters finished and published. Not really good for a 14 year old. I guess this is the main reason that I now think the stories aren't very good. I rushed, therefore didn't spend enough time making a chapter bigger and better than the last… my apologies for that.  
I was never really good at English at school, being Dyslexic n'all ;) But I can now confidently –and happily- say that I am in a top set English class, getting A-C grades in my GCSE exams! I believe this is all because I experimented with writing in a different way when I was younger. So yeah, when I was 14 school was really just an annoyance and FanFiction was where I'd much rather spent my days. But at the same time, school was still wayyyyyyy more important; unfortunately FanFic just got put to the back of my mind.  
Second reason, school.

3. Pure and utter laziness… Does this one really need much of an explanation? Mmm. To be honest, I started writing these stories when I was bored. I wrote some of one story, then had an idea for another and got to writing that, occasionally I would post random one-shots, all when I really should have been doing school stuff. It all got too much and I gave up. I'd completed one story, was in the middle of another, had posted a one-shot and was beginning to start the next part to the first story... Instead of doing the grown up thing and saying, ''okay, this is too much. I need to stop, think about this- return to this when you're not panicked about school or being pressured into writing more.'' Instead I just quit. And I didn't post anything for the next 19 months. I couldn't be bothered to do it anymore- I hated feeling guilty for not getting the next chapter up and disappointing people. I realise now that giving up really didn't help either. It wasn't until I saw on some FanFic Facebook page or something, someone had asked 'what happened to ilovemywolf?' Someone else replied ''r.i.p'' :O I sat staring at my computer for 10 minutes thinking 'WHAT THE HECK! Gotta. Fix. This.'

So in conclusion, this is really me fixing this. Kinda. An apology also. I have been thinking alot over the past week about writing this- drafting it in my head and how it came out are two completely different versions, but oh welly! At least I have written something explaining my absence, tehe.  
Right now, I am not planning on writing or finishing any stories on here. I don't know. I'm usually quite implosive, so if you randomly get a- what is it now? An Email? Bump inbox type thing? I don't know anymore haha- thingy from FanFiction telling you that I have posted something new cheeeeeeeck it out :D  
Once again, thank you again for the continuing support- even now I will randomly get an Email telling me someone has added me to their favourite author, favourite story or added the story to their watch list! It's just so amazing that people are still reading ''The Cullen's spend a week on Isle Esme''… considering just how terrible it truly is… :')

I will write you, when I write you! Thanks again, for being understanding an' all that :D I hope you are all well! And are continuing with your own little adventures in life ;)

Love, Shannon! oxox  
ilovemywolf (and o'boy do I still adore Jakeypoos! ;))

Ps. I'm not sure where I am going to post this. Maybe after the Cullen story, possible after Emmet's list of luxury, maybe even as a whole new 'story'. You may find this posted in multiple places. Okay. I'm done. Seeeya! x


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